Quick Links

“A Cup of Coffee”: It Is When We Are Broken That We Learn The Most

Welcome back!  Last week we visited with Dr. Ross about the science behind healthy food choices.  He gave us some tips on how to find a doctor that might be able to help us in our quest for health.  If you missed his blog, here is the link:  https://www.nwosteo.org/does-your-doctor-look-healthy/

This week, I’m writing “A Cup of Coffee” a little early.  I’m happy to be back from my medical leave and among our readers again.  I missed you!  I wanted to tell you about my experience while I was gone, and encourage you to think outside the box a bit.  We all know about handicapped placards, and designated stalls for those in wheelchairs, but there is so much more about being in a chair that you don’t know about. 

Please read this week’s blog…go grab a cup of coffee, and let’s chat.

As the leaves begin to fall, and the harvest is collected from the field, I sit at my desk and ponder my return from my medical leave.  While my medical issue was nothing more than simple ankle surgery, it put me into a state of total bedrest and then reliant on a wheelchair for several weeks.  Weeks turned into months, physical therapy ensued, and my recovery started to feel as if it would never happen.  But like the turning of the seasons, most things tend to pass. 

What feels like it may never end, suddenly ends, and we are faced with new beginnings, new normals, and a new outlook on life.

I have a new found respect for people who rely on wheelchairs to get around in this world.  Trust me, it isn’t easy.  Handicapped accessible doesn’t necessarily mean “easy to maneuver” and I found bathrooms to be the biggest challenge of them all.  Automatic doors that didn’t stay open long enough for me to get inside, and stalls that weren’t large enough to accommodate my chair (forcing me to leave the door open with my chair at arms length).  Humiliation is one word that comes to mind as I reflect.

Airports that promise to help you get into the plane, but don’t let you know that you will be strapped down on a 12 inch wide chair, with your arms restrained at your side as they haul you up the ramp in front of all the other restless passengers.  Burden is one word that comes to mind as I reflect.

Deplaning on the other end of your flight and being told that the person with your chair didn’t show up, so “do the best you can”, and hopping on one leg clear to the baggage area, well, frustration is one word that comes to mind as I reflect.

Wheeling myself up and down the aisles in the store, not being able to reach the shelves above my head, depending on the compassion of observers to help me out, all the while wondering why these chairs don’t move up and down?  Not being able to see above the counter when checking out, or worse yet, having the clerk talk over my head to my husband as if I don’t exist.  Demeaning is a word that comes to mind as I reflect.

My ankle may have been broken, but my mind was not, and I was forced to process a lot of truths that didn’t seem very true to me.  Handicapped accessible doesn’t mean what you think it means.  In fact, it means very little.  The legal truth, is that the bar is set very low for accommodations, and the literal truth is that bar is way too low.  Life shouldn’t be that difficult.  Not for anyone.  Doors that are too heavy to open, stalls too small to accommodate, practices that are too humiliating, and levels of understanding that are much too primitive. 

At one point, probably my lowest, I was attempting to get through TSA at the airport.  I was in the PreCheck line, you know the one…where you should go through faster than the “other” line?  Well, when you are in a chair, not so much.  They literally made me stand up on a non-weight bearing leg while they ran a wand around my backside and private areas.  They then dusted my chair for explosive residue and ran their hands over my torso for good measure.  No privacy.  No compassion.  Oh, and no bomb, by the way…

We like to think that our ways of doing things have come so very far.  We’ve educated our children not to stare, we’ve learned that yelling at someone in a chair only helps if they are hearing impaired, and we’ve worked at making doors wide enough so chairs can get through them, but I’m here to tell you, that’s just simply not enough.

A handicapped placard does one no good if the ramp is made out of cobblestones with big gaps between the stones.  A trip to the beach isn’t any fun if there’s not a ramp down to the water so you can stick your toes in and feel the sand under your feet.  Going to a movie or a concert is no fun if you have to sit in a designated chair section while everyone else sits in a “normal” seat. 

Being dependent on others is hard enough, especially when you are used to being independent.  But being in a situation where not only are you dependent on others, but your whole world gets demeaned as a result of this dependence is absolutely unconscionable.   I would encourage you to try moving around in this world for one day in a wheelchair, especially if you work in a building that says that it accommodates.  You will soon see what I’m talking about.  It doesn’t take long.

In my last career, working in social services, I worked with many clients who were not only in wheelchairs, but were non-verbal as well.  Can you imagine?  One day, I read a book called, “Ghost Boy”, by Martin Pistorius, and it changed my understanding of my work, and as I communicated with my non-verbal clients, I began to see more…more than just their screeches, more than just their spitting, biting, and scratching…I began to see souls.  Their eyes would tell me what their needs were, and as my career flourished, I became one with the ones I was honored to care for.  

I feel compelled to give you this video to watch.  I may be back to work, walking, and getting stronger, but my time in that wheelchair has forever changed me.  My doctor said, “your journey is almost over” and I thought to myself, “actually, my journey has just begun“.

Please take 15 minutes and watch this incredible speaker talk about his journey and then, I suggest you go borrow a wheelchair and spend a day in it.  You won’t be sorry.

Thank you for reading us.  We do appreciate you…see you next time.

 

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

5 Responses to “A Cup of Coffee”: It Is When We Are Broken That We Learn The Most

  1. Linda Tate October 14, 2018 at 8:52 pm #

    Wow, Dr. Hupe, thank you for that! What a great share…

  2. Dr. Ann Hupe, DO October 14, 2018 at 8:44 pm #

    I spent 26 weeks in a wheelchair due to a reconstructed shattered left ankle and foot. Try being a family physician with hospital privileges in a wheelchair! But my “kids” (patients) thought it was “so cool!” because that means I had to ask them to help me find and hand me my otoscope, etc. They thought it was so much fun! I decided to wear colorful scrubs (before scrubs became fun). What I hated was how HEAVY a wheelchair is! I hated going to medical conferences where there was absolutely NO handicap access! Apparently, in the state of Ohio, some buildings took advantage of a “grandfather clause”. I couldn’t believe they could do that! Looking forward now, I hate the yellow bumpy parts of a sidewalk because someone thought it would be “safer” if these stupid bumps were there to slow down a wheelchair because of the angle. I tried to maneuver them in a wheelchair, and it was impossible to go anywhere! I grew up in a family of farmers and engineers. Who was the “brilliant” idiot who thought of this without seriously testing it out? I’m glad it was nowhere in sight when I shattered my ankle and foot. Would take me forever to get into the hospital to do rounds…

  3. Linda Tate October 10, 2018 at 11:28 am #

    That’s encouraging and amazing! Thank you so much for sharing this…

  4. Shirley October 10, 2018 at 11:21 am #

    My time in a wheelchair after a major femur break really restored my faith in the youth in our area. In addition to the struggles you mentioned – true and very real – I also had another experience. Without exception, every time I came to a door or an obstacle and there was a young person around, they interrupted whatever they were doing to open the door or assist at a ramp or reach something too high for me. Where I had feared getting in the way, I got help and respect. Maybe it was the gray hair that reminded them of their own grandmother, but it made the rest of the inconveniences a little more bearable.

  5. Charlie Ross
    Charlie Ross October 10, 2018 at 6:31 am #

    I learned a lot from your blog…and the TED talk was very engaging..thank you.

Leave a Reply